40 Regrets
You Don’t Want to Have in 40 Years
Stop wasting time regretting what you did a year ago. Start doing what you have to do now, so that
in a year’s time you won’t regret what you did today.
This morning, like he has every morning for the last decade,
my 86-year-old grandfather picked a fresh wild flower on his morning walk and
took it to my grandmother. This morning
I decided to go with him to see her. And
as he placed the flower on her gravestone, he looked at me and said, “I just
wish I had picked her a fresh flower every morning when she was alive. She would have loved that.”
As you can imagine, his words touched a nerve in me. I almost immediately started thinking about
everything and everyone I care about, and what I don’t want to regret in 40
years when I’m on the cusp of my 80’s.
It almost felt like every aspect of my life was flashing before my
eyes. And as soon as I got home, I
started jotting down everything that had come to mind. When I was done, I read the list to an Angel. She nodded her head all the way
through to the end, and then said, “I couldn’t agree more. I don’t think anyone wants to regret any of
those things when they’re older.”
Perhaps you will also agree…
Spending too
little time with the right people. – Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you
smile. So today, spend time with those
who help you love yourself more. And
remember, the people you take for granted today may be the only ones you need
tomorrow. Never be too busy to make time
for those who matter most.
Not making
your loved ones smile more often. – The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smile, and even
more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it.
Not saying
what you need to say. – Speak
up. Don’t hide your thoughts and
feelings, especially when you can make a difference. Be brave.
Say what needs to be said. If you
care about someone, tell them. Hearts
are sometimes broken by the words we leave unspoken.
Constantly
comparing yourself to everyone else. – Don’t compare your progress in life with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own
distance. It’s perfectly OK to be
different. Today, the only person you
should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others.
Ignoring your
intuition for too long. – Sometimes your mind needs more time to accept what your heart already
knows. Breathe. Be a witness, not a judge. Listen to your intuition.
Not taking
action on meaningful goals. –
Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy creating new
ones. You either suffer the pain of
discipline or the pain of regret. Most
of the time, the only difference between who you are and who you want to be, is
what you do. (Read Getting Things Done.)
Letting
others talk you out of your dreams. – Can you remember who you were before the world told you
who you should be? Stop living for other
people and their opinions. Be true to
YOU.
Vivid
memories of wasted time. – There
is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and
who you will give your day to. Because
unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope,
opportunities, and many more – time is the one thing you can never get back once
it’s gone.
Collecting
more excuses than you can count. – If you really want to do something, you’ll find a
way. If you don’t, you’ll find an
excuse.
Waiting, and
waiting, and waiting until you’re ready. – Sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder
than it is. All you ever have to decide
is what to do next. It really is this simple.
You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. Just do the best you can until you know
better. Once you know better, do better.
Not putting
in enough effort. –
In life you are either a passenger or a pilot, it’s your choice. If you want something, work for it. Do what it takes, not what is easy. It will hurt.
It will take time. It will
require dedication. It will require
willpower. You will need to make healthy
decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to its
max. There will be temptation. But, I promise you, when you reach your goal,
it will be worth it.
Letting
solvable problems stop you. – Not
everything that’s faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it’s
faced. Problems are not stop signs,
they’re guidelines. If you want it, work
for it. It’s that simple. Strength doesn’t come from what you can
do. It comes from overcoming the things
you couldn’t.
Not taking on
enough risk. –
Wouldn’t you rather have a life of “OH WELLs” than a life of “WHAT IFs”? Do what you can while you can. Don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort
zone. Some of my best life experiences
and opportunities came to me only after I dared to lose.
Settling for
less than you are capable of. – Remember, growth and change may be painful sometimes, but
nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.
Putting your
own needs and happiness on the back burner. – All jokes aside, your life only comes around
once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with
whoever makes you laugh, often.
Letting
impatience govern your decisions and actions. – Patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to
keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.
Giving up too
soon. – Forget how
many times you’ve broken down. It’s
about how you stand up and move on. You
may have to go through the worst, to get to the best. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is going to come together; maybe
not immediately, but eventually.
Letting
someone walk all over you, ad infinitum. – Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing
yourself to be their option. And walk
away from anyone who continually robs you of peace and joy. Life is too short to waste your time with
people who abuse and bully you.
Not helping
others when you were able. – If you have a lot, give your wealth.
If you have a little, give your heart.
Just give what you can. No one
has ever become poor by giving.
Ignoring your
roots and those who have supported you. – Never forget where you’ve been.
Never lose sight of where you’re going.
And never take for granted the people who travel the journey with you.
Not appreciating
what you have when you have it. – We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting
something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. No, you won’t always get exactly what you
want. But remember this: There are lots
of people who will never have what you have right now. (Read The Happiness Project.)
Letting your
health go.
– Your body is the only
place you will truly ever live. If
you’re lucky enough to have a body that’s in good health, be wise enough to keep
it that way.
Years of
struggling to find happiness outside yourself. – Happiness is not determined by what’s happening
around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Too many people depend on others, or outside
sources, to gain happiness, but the truth is it always comes from within.
Letting too
many plans blind you from the beauty of now. – When life is good, enjoy it. Don’t go looking for something better. Happiness never comes to those who don’t
appreciate what they have. You must be
willing to loosen your grip on the life you have planned so you can enjoy the life
that is waiting for you now.
Being too
narrow-minded to see the opportunities given to you. – Sometimes life doesn’t give you
what you WANT because you NEED something else.
And what you need often comes when you’re not looking for it.
The
limitations you put on yourself. – It’s often our own thinking that hurts us. There’s no reason to imprison yourself. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box.
Letting
negativity get the best of you. – Remember, true strength is when you have so much to cry and complain
about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.
Never
admitting and growing beyond your mistakes. – You can learn great things from your mistakes when
you aren’t busy denying them.
Not accepting
responsibility for life changes you need to make. – If you’ve been asking the same
questions for a long time, yet are still stuck, it’s probably not that you
haven’t been given the answers, but that you don’t like the answers you were
given. Remember, it takes a great deal
of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage
still, to accept the responsibility for making the change happen.
Seeking too
much validation from others. – You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and
STRONG enough. You don’t need other
people to validate you; you’re already valuable. You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the
end - no apologies, no regrets.
Impressing
the wrong people. – Not
everyone will appreciate what you do for them.
You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking
advantage of you. Spend more time with
those who make you smile and less time with those who you constantly feel
pressured to impress.
Time spent on
drama and needless arguments. – Life is too short to argue and fight. Count your blessings, value the people who
matter and move on from the drama with your head held high.
Letting a
grudge hurt your happiness. – Let
it go. Grudges are a waste of perfect
happiness. Holding one is like letting
unwanted company live rent free in your head.
Endlessly
worrying about things.
– Move on. Stop letting it bother
you. If a problem can be solved, there’s
nothing to worry about. If it can’t be
solved, worrying is useless.
Forcing what’s not meant to be. – Never force anything. Do your best, then let it be. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Don’t hold yourself down with things you
can’t control. Sometimes you have to
stop worrying, wondering, and doubting.
Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just
how it’s meant to be.
Getting stuck
in the trap of consumerism. – Too
many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t need, to
impress folks they don’t even know.
Don’t be one of them. (Read The
Total Money Makeover.)
Never traveling
when you had the chance. – Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.
Not choosing
to laugh at life more often. – Life is way better when you’re laughing. Being positive in a negative situation is not
naive, it’s a sign of leadership and strength.
Resisting
change instead of rolling with it. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month
ago, or a week ago. You’re always
growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life.
Talking the
talk, but never walking the walk. – When it’s all said and done, be sure you haven’t said
more than you’ve done. In the end,
actions always speak louder than words.
So work hard in silence, and let your success be your noise.
Afterthoughts
If you’re struggling with any of these points, know that you
are not alone. Many of us are right
there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and live a
life free of regrets.
The bottom line is that it’s never too late to take a step in
the right direction. It’s never too late
to become the person you are capable of being.
Things can change if you want them to, at any age. Right now you have an opportunity to write
yourself a future full of peace and free of regret.
Adapted from 1000 little things - http://www.gretchenrubin.com/
Njoroge wa Ngige. 07282015
If you think I am your pillow you forgot I am your mattress too, the one you soiled with your streams of tears and rivers of sorrows when I mattered most. If you think I am your door mat you haven't built a house yet, for I broke in your borrowed fortified apartment and stole your soul home. Do not lay in waiting, Your window of opportunity is closing fast. You better build a tunnel of hope not an escape route for you will be burned alive in bay of hypocrisy and shores of pretenders washed to the coast line for they were lighter than the tide. They committed suicide even when they knew they were dead sinking, to the bottomless pit of self destruction. You have no chance of survival because you refused to live in search of freedom. You valued sticking with things, and things valued stinking with you in the borrowed time from hell. Now return back my time and my borrowed soul or consult your unapologetic fake doctor before consuming this truth, for you forgot your psychotropic medication while digging your own unmarked grave in an occupied territory.
