The Bloodied Knuckles

The Bloodied Knuckles

Sometimes we hear voices,

Distinct, chaotic or faint whispers,

Sometimes lots of voices or no voices at all,

Why are you calling while I am here?

Why are you calling while I can hear?

Why are you calling while I can’t hear?

You why? Oh! Why You?

 

I am a little upset!

I am not thinking now, leave me alone,

To have quiet time,

A Tranquility of confusion,

How often or very often do you feel that?

The reason why cows chew cud at night,

I lost memory when I made decision

To lose my feelings because I was guilty,

Lost concentration when I was labelled,

A rebel with no course, an ungrateful outcast

A psychotic with no known diagnosis

But a pathology of over the counter medication,

My great pain is your self-pleasure,

I have no plans to commit suicide,

Neither do I have vision to live

Nor vision to leave,

Please do not ask me to come to normal

For this is my normal,

When I crash on the cold floor,

Wondering and traumatically pacing around,

Head batting my soul in the life cage;

Just another number, minding my business,

Trying to control what I can’t,

We will not have problems,

If you understand how wonderful I am

Until you stop barking and packing

Do not pull away, for I never threatened you,

I just pulled the trigger and the neighbor’s gun fired noises,

Push me compassionately,

For I am fragile handle with care’

Please like me like a misbehaved victim,

A situational process, a work in progress

It’s not that I am Impulsive but more calculative,

I am in disorder but not discriminative

I am just a humble determinant that we are all in denial.

Of the delusional reality,

Only God of Exodus Knows.

Original Thoughts By ~ Njoroge wa Ngige~101915-2001 hours.